The best gift i ever got
Was for christmas when i was 10...
My very first suture kit.
I used it until my fingers bled,
And then i tried to use it to stitch up my fingers.
Thank you for meeting me.
You're the chief of surgery. If you page, i'm here.
It put me on the path to becoming a surgeon.
I want to say something.
I need to say something...
About what happened the other night.
I-I need you to know it wasn't...
Well, it isn't what you think.
Oh. I don't think anything
About your personal life, sir.
I had a problem... a long time ago.
I was diagnosed with alcoholism.
Or i diagnosed myself.
And i didn't take a drink for almost 20 years.
But i think it was a misdiagnosis.
I'm not saying my drinking wasn't bad, because it was.
But there is such a thing as...
Situational depression.
And i think that's what i was suffering from,
And it escalated my drinking.
Situational depression?
Your mother. Yes.
Well, she escalated my drinking, too, so...
Have you told anyone what you saw?
I mean, have you told derek?
No.
Well... since i took a step back from surgery,
I've had some time to really look at our residents.
And your work...
Is extraordinary.
A lot like your mother's.
And since i have some time--
Some extra time--
Maybe you would like a mentor.
Maybe i could teach you some things.
Have you ever done a 2-Layered, continuous suture
For an anastomosis?
My point is, sometimes the best gifts
Come in really surprising packages.
No.
Take a seat.
You're about to.
Wait.
Oh, it's teddy. Ah, i love it when it's teddy.
Okay.
Don't you think it's strange that he's mentoring you at night
And still not talking to me?
Since the merger, it is impossible to get o.R. Time.
And who is responsible for that?
That's what i'm saying. I need all the help i can get.
And i am saying, he is using you to get to me. He is not.
Then why now? Why are you suddenly seeing so much of him?
I'm done talking about this.
If you want to stay mad, stay mad.
But i'm just gonna be here kissing you.
Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Wow.
That is the biggest pseudoaneurysm i've ever seen.
It's at the suture line of the transplant.
The new heart is dying. Damn it.
Poor guy that brought her in.
I think they were on their third date.
It doesn't even look like a heart anymore.
That's because it's not.
It's a chunk of useless flesh that has to come out right now.
You're taking the heart out?
What are you gonna replace it with?
I don't know. We're gonna have to figure it out as we go.
Okay, wait. Let me get this straight.
You removed her heart? Yes.
A-And she can live that way?
Like--Like what, like a-A vampire? Usually you'd connect
A ventricular assist device to the heart,
But since she doesn't have a heart--
Dr. Altman attached two, um, devices to her blood vessels.
Now this machine now pumps the blood through her body,
Which is basically, um, a miracle.
I really like her. Uh, i like her a lot.
But we've only had four dates.
I'm supposed to have thanksgiving
With my family, you know?
She was gonna join us.
And now she's like a...
She can really live without a heart?
If you don't want to stay, we have a great nursing staff,
Great doctors.
She'll be in good hands.
No. You know, she doesn't even have a family.
And if it was me, i would want somebody here.
So... i'll stay.
Okay.
Tucker and little tuck are both fine.
Yeah, i know.
I'm sorry i have to work today and on christmas this year.
Yeah. Uh, tucker and i were hoping to bring him home
To visit you.
Mom, um, i have to go.
Happy thanksgiving, mom.
You didn't tell your parents about the divorce?
How long can you keep that a secret?
When you started dating women,
How long did you keep that secret from your family?
Okay. Wh--
When did the bleeding start?
This morning. He's had these before.
I just... i've never seen a nosebleed go on like this.
There's blood on timmy, mom.
Mr. And mrs. Jacobsen, can i see you?
Go ahead. We'll be fine.
Nicholas has what is called an arteriovenous malformation.
It's a cluster of tangled blood vessels in his brain.
It's what's causing the bleeding.
In order to stop the bleeding, we need to remove it.
Y-Y-You mean like brain surgery or...
I'll do everything i can to protect the brain tissue
And minimize damage.
I'm sorry. I know it's scary.
But we have to go in right away.
Excuse me.
I'm looking for dr. Mark sloan.
Um, you see the dude who was burned...
Trying to deep fry a turkey?
Sloan's the guy making him scream like a girl.
Dr. Sloan?
Yeah.
Hi.
Um, so this is a little weird,
But, um... my name is sloan reilly.
And, uh, my mom's samantha reilly.
And, uh, she told you my dad
Hi.
How's it, uh, how's it going in here?
Great. Fine.
Okay.
So have we broached the question of a paternity test?
'Cause i brought supplies.
She's 18. That's not very much younger than me.
Well, it's not that shocking actually.
I mean, the way mark got around before he met you,
There could be a gaggle of sloans.
Sloan jones. Sloan smith. Sloan sloan. Mean.
Ah, damn it.
Son of a bitch.
I can't access the feeders.
So... what does that mean? It means i can't get at it.
I can do a temporary fix,
But once he starts bleeding again, which he will,
There won't be anything we can do.
So we're just gonna... send him home to die?
Happy thanksgiving, jacobsen family.
Nice day.
Little chilly. Hmm. Yeah.
It's brisk, though. It's not cold.
Right.
Look, teddy...
No. I... i know.
I-I-I-I don't-- I don't understand.
You--You said that--That he would die without the surgery.
And now you're telling us we're supposed to just take him home?
Right. Well, i've stopped the bleeding temporarily.
But the only way to remove the a.V.M. Safely
Is through the sinus. Well, why don't you do that?
Because there are no instruments that can maneuver through
A nasal cavity this small and get the appropriate angles.
Why not? Who does that?
Who invents those things?
Mark...
Now might be a good place for you to say something.
Out loud.
Dude, are you, like, high or something?
Sloan. Yeah.
Yes
Mark, i need you on something.
I have a daughter, derek. Yeah.
An 18-Year-Old daughter.
I am too young to have an 18 year old.
It's a nail in my coffin. It's like death has come to call.
Okay, can we put a pin
In your existential crisis for a minute?
No. That's why they call it a crisis.
Look, dr. Robbins and i have a 6 year old
With an inoperable a.V.M.
We need your help to make it operable.
This is the best thanksgiving ever.
No obnoxious relatives.
No stupid traditions.
No going around the table and saying
What you're grateful for.
Yeah, i think we should do the opposite.
Talk about what we're not grateful for.
The merger.
The mercy westers. They're like the plague.
I mean, stealing all our surgeries,
Eating all that pie in the nurses' station.
You're doing that wrong. I am not.
You are. Can i show you?
Private lessons with the chief...
Man, those daddy issues are working for you.
I don't have daddy issues. He's teaching me.
You're his bitch. Well, in that case, you're teddy's bitch.
Maybe that's my problem. I'm nobody's bitch.
Oh, well, you were izzie's bitch. You're the bitch.
You know what? It's thanksgiving. Well--
Can we just have no name-Calling? Yeah. Please.
Whatever. Just show me that stitch again.
Hey!
Hey.
Hi. Hello.
Welcome. Happy thanksgiving. Who wants wine?
Ooh, i do. No, you--You don't.
Um... hey, everybody.
Uh, well, the results are in.
It, uh, turns out sloan was right
About her parentage.
I am her dad.
Um, so here's another thing to be thankful for.
Lexie, sloan here
Is gonna move in with us for a little while.
Oh, my god. Oh!
Now just--Just ease up.
Let the suture do the work for you.
You know, it's like a dance.
You know, you let the needle be the man,
Let it take the lead,
And let your hand just follow.
Look at that. I haven't seen skill like that since...
Your mother.
That woman... she could dance.
You should make up with derek.
It's christmas. It's time.
You need to take perpendicular bites
About a millimeter apart.
How's it feel?
Still tingling? Oh, it's fine.
I pretty much have full sensation.
Great. Good.
So...
Have you, uh...
I mean, uh, you think you could ask her
How long she's planning to stay?
Mark, it's been a month,
And you've exchanged three sentences with her.
Two of them were, "pass the cereal."
In the spirit of the holiday,
Maybe you can ask her yourself.
She's pretty easy to like once you get to know her.
Really?
No. She's a vapid, vapid girl,
But she's your daughter, okay? So--So try.
Okay? Try--Try to be her dad.
Go.
What are you looking at, you old perv?
Dad!
Merry christmas.
Uh, your mother sent me.
Uh-Oh. You heard.
Your cousin said something
To her husband in front of your niece,
Who said something to your younger niece,
Who said something to your mother.
I-I was planning to put a tree up, i just-- And where's tuck?
He's back east with tucker's family.
He was with me for thanksgiving.
So it's true. You are getting a divorce.
It's weird.
No heartbeat.
I used to climb mountains, you know?
One time i did the inca trail.
It's four mountains in three days.
The second day there's this climb.
It's eight hours straight.
And you are so tired,
And the air is so thin, you don't even talk.
All you do is climb.
And it's just you and your breathing
And your heartbeat pounding in your ears.
It's just hard getting used to no heartbeat.
And i'm getting tired.
Really tired.
I know.
You know what? You just need to hang on till new year's eve.
There's a lot of drunk drivers, a lot of brain death.
It's an organ-Palooza. (Chuckles)
Kelsey, you just gotta hang on, okay?
You'll hike again, you know?
We'll hike together.
It's such a beautiful world outside of this hospital.
It's snowy and quiet... cold...
And perfect.
So, you know, you just gotta make it until new year's eve.
I need to go outside.
What? What?
I might die. We all know that.
I might die really soon.
But snow is my favorite thing in the whole wide world.
It's my favorite thing.
Please.
Please, okay?
I'm sorry, but-- We can do that.
I want to bolt. I want to quit.
I want to... go back to new york
Or i don't know--Arkansas--
Somewhere no one can come looking for me.
I don't know how to talk to her. I...
And i don't know what she wants from me.
It's the guilt, you know?
It's like every time i look at her, it just...
The guilt is like a punch in the gut every day.
Well, you shouldn't feel guilty. You didn't know.
I did know.
I knew when her mom got pregnant.
She told me.
I gave her a couple hundred bucks
And i left town, and i never saw her again.
You know, i figured she got an abortion. Hoped.
But i did know.
Well, you're a different guy now.
You're not 18 anymore. You've grown-Up.
You're capable of better.
Nicholas is back in the e.R. He's got a nosebleed, bad.
I've been trying to stop it for an hour.
We can't operate. We're not ready.
All right, well, then i'll admit him and keep transfusing
Until the equipment's done, which is gonna be soon, i hope?
Um, hello. Are you bailey's--
Or i mean, miranda's dad?
William bailey. Uh, you can call me bill.
Okay. Hi, bill.
I'm callie torres. I'm a-A friend of bailey's.
She mentioned that she snuck you in here.
Said i should come say hi.
So what's that she's doing down there?
Oh, that's a hernia repair.
We get a lot of hernias at christmas.
Lots of people lifting trees or heavy gifts
Or santa bags.
It's--Oh, we get a lot of broken bones, too,
'Cause of the weather.
Oh, i had this, uh, this guy earlier.
He got an electric shock from some christmas lights.
The shock was so big that it broke both of his wrists.
Yeah. Anyway, i'm dating women and--
Uh, i'm sorry?
Oh, i'm, uh... i've recently started dating women.
And my family had a really hard time accepting that,
But, you know, we worked through it.
And, um...
Bailey said that you're having
A hard time with her divorce,
Which i totally understand.
But i... i j--
I wanted to say that
She didn't come to that decision lightly.
And she's a good person, and...
Merry christmas.
Did hunt ever tell you about the time
That he made snow? No.
His guys were feeling the holidays pretty bad,
So hunt orders one of those snow makers on christmas eve.
He tries to get the thing going,
But the minute that the snow hit the sand, it melts.
So hunt blindfolded his guys
And made them put their faces
Right up to the snowblower.
There was this one kid from minnesota.
He actually cried.
He said it felt exactly like christmas at home.
Huh.
Ooh, hunt.
Hunt's so delicious when he's tending to bloody soldiers.
Love me some hunt.
Shut up. What are you...
So how was the view?
I have been a proud father.
Your whole life, i have been a proud father.
Your mother and i sat in the front row
Of every dance class, every oboe recital,
And we cheered.
We sat in the front row of every graduation.
I was always the first one on my feet
And the loudest one in the crowd.
I have been... a proud father.
And today, miranda, i-I s-Sat in the gallery,
And i watched you repair some fat man's hernia.
And for the first time in my life,
I felt ashamed of you.
This is what you do on christmas?
For this, you traded your husband?
For this, you traded your child's family?
So you could work all day
And go home alone on christmas
To an empty house without even a tree.
I have been a proud father...
Miranda.
But i would be a bad father today
If i didn't look you in the eye
And tell you that you have made a terrible mistake.
You broke your family.
You set your son up to fail.
And the child i raised...
Huh, she was raised better than that.
Well, that's something you don't see every day.
She could code. The monitor could short out.
Teddy's a brilliant surgeon,
But i-I don't get how she made this call.
I get it. It's patient care.
And teddy's always been a sucker for christmas.
Oh, my god. Kelsey!
From your x-Rays and c.T.,
It looks like part of your bowel has died.
It--It's a side effect of your poor circulation.
It's why you collapsed.
But just... fix her, okay?
She can't have come this far to...
Just fix her.
We're gonna need to repair this as soon as possible.
The more time we wait, the more bowel dies. Yeah, but how?
She's septic, hypotensive, and she has no heart.
(Teddy) her pressure's too low for general anesthesia.
She won't survive.
Then... we won't put her under general.
Andthis goes through the nose to the base of the skull,
And then i drill the bone off.
Well, what happens once you drill the holes?
We put miniature staple clips
On the vessels. With what instrument?
We don't have it. Not yet. But we will. We will.
We're, uh, still trying to figure out how to build it,
But we're on it.
Uh... i would like
An invitation to your home for christmas dinner.
I know it's very late for me
To be asking for such an invitation,
Given that it is, in fact, christmas day.
However, i have a very worried father,
And if i don't look like i have some sort of life,
He'll never leave.
I have a bowel infarction to repair, and then after that,
I'll be free to come to your home. Sounds fine.
Oh, absolutely. Thank you.
The chief just cut off the funding for our equipment. What?
We're way over budget,
And nicholas is running out of time.
We want our bonuses to go towardssorry. For nicholas jacobsen.
Sorry, you can't do that.
No, but it'll be like a donation. They're our bonuses.
There are no bonuses. That's what he's trying to say.
There are no bonuses this year. I'm sorry.
Merry christmas.
I'll write a check. How much?
I'll split it with you. Thank you.
I have a teenager. What if she wants to go to college? Have you met her?
Fine, i'm in.
Thank you. I'll get back to you with numbers. Uh, shep.
Chief.
I'm sorry i tried to fire you.
And in the spirit of the holidays, i was, uh...
Sorry.
* i really can't stay *
* but, baby, it's cold outside *
* i've got to go 'way *
* but, baby, it's cold outside *
* this evening has been * * been *
* so very nice * * hopin' you would drop in *
* i'll hold your hands *
* they're like ice * * my mother will start to worry *
* hey, beautiful, what's your hurry? *
* my father will be pacing the floor *
* listen to the fire roar *
* so really, i'd better scurry *
* well, maybe just a half a drink more... *
You're not serious. You got him a snow globe of seattle?
What? He likes seattle.
I gave you 50 bucks. Where's my change?
Mark... your kids are bickering.
Have you talked to her yet?
I'm workin' on it.
Your sister's got a ready-Made family there.
Well, don't worry. She didn't forget about you.
She invited you, right?
He's drinking... isn't he?
Richard.
He's off the wagon.
Well, he's drinking eggnog. It's christmas.
Everybody drinks eggnog at christmas.
Mm, some people do. Recovering alcoholics don't.
He's not an alcoholic.
That was a misdiagnosis.
Is that what he's telling you?
Meredith, he is a surgeon and he is drinking,
And he is an alcoholic.
That could quickly become catastrophic.
Were you drinking when i was a kid,
When you left me with my mother
And got another family and never looked back?
No.
No, i didn't start drinking till much later.
Well, then we can't blame the world's evils
On alcohol, can we?
Oh, yeah.
It hurts. I know.
Surgery with only a local anesthetic is not ideal.
Hang in there.
Okay, okay.
It's gonna be okay.
I'm here with you, all right?
Hey, hey. Hey, no tears. No tears at christmas.
No, there's only, uh,
Lights and, um, snowmen...
And songs.
Um...
* oh, the weather outside is frightful *
* but the fire is so delightful *
Come on now.
* but since we've no place to go *
Karev.
No, thanks.
Sing, yang. Oh, no. I don't um, i'm jewish.
Hey, don't play the race card with me.
Sing or get off my service.
* let it snow, let it snow, let it snow *
* it doesn't show signs of stopping *
* and i've brought some corn for popping *
You, too, karev.
* the lights are turned way down low *
* let it snow, let it snow, let it snow *
The house looks beautiful, mer. Thank you.
Callie?
Working. Oh, that's too bad.
Here, you want some stuffing? Thanks.
That's all, thank you. Oh, how--How'd kelsey do?
Uh, well. Who's kelsey?
A girl with no heart.
I had to do a laparoscopic bowel repair
While the poor thing was awake on the table.
Miranda, mind your manners.
Even if surgery is your whole life, it doesn't mean
You have to talk about bowels at the dinner table.
My child is healthy.
Excuse me?
He may not be with me tonight, but he's healthy...
I didn't say he-- And he's well-Loved. He's a well-Loved boy.
And he's a happy boy.
And staying in an unhappy marriage--
Now is not the time or the place--
Staying in an unhappy marriage, a marriage that i've outgrown,
A marriage full of ultimatums and numbness and resentment--
Miranda--
That is not the kind of life
I want to model for my child.
That is not what i want him to believe
Married love is.
Look, i know what's possible.
I know what's out there for me
Because you taught me well.
You and mom showed me what true love looks like.
So i chose not to settle, and i'm happier for it,
Even if i'm alone at christmas.
My child is healthy, and i'm happy.
And, you know, part of my happiness is
The fact that i got to repair a woman's bowel
And save her life today.
And that's god's work,
Which makes this appropriate christmas dinner conversation.
Yeah.
I'm happy.
And my child is healthy.
And that's enough for me today, dad.
That's enough.
Uh, green beans, anyone?
Thank you.
Thanks.
Okay.
Here i would advise a one-Hand tie.
Um, okay. Uh, why don't i talk and you operate? Good.
Last night was my last drink.
The shaking will stop soon. Good. Good for you.
That doesn't mean i have to quit drinking tequila, does it?
'Cause i really like tequila.
It's new year's eve.
I know.
She shows no signs of leaving-- No suitcase packed, nothing.
Talk to her right now, or no more sex for you.
So...
What you reading?
I can tell you don't really like me,
And, um, your girlfriend's, like, totally freaked out by me
'Cause i'm kinda, like, hotter than her.
But i'm pregnant. Yeah.
I'm having a baby, and, um,
That's why i dropped out of school
And that's why my mom kicked me out.
Look...
I know you don't owe me anything...
But i can tell you guys are about to kick me out...
And i... i...
I don't have anywhere else to go.
Shh. Shh.
It's okay.
You're gonna be okay.
He's in hypovolemic shock. He's lost too much blood.
And i didn't want to have to do this, but we're gonna
Have to put a tube down his throat to help him breathe. Nicholas.
We need to tube him right now. Don't tube him. Bag him till we get to the o.R.
The o.R.? We finished the instruments.
We did? Yeah, we're gonna operate.
I just need you to sign a consent form.
Pretty dramatic timing, dr. Shepherd.
I like to make an entrance. It's okay.
Her kidneys are shutting down.
We need to find a donor. We needed to find one yesterday.
It's new year's eve, dr. Yang.
You said i just had to make it to new year's eve.
Drunks all over the roads. So yeah.
Tonight's are best shot.
Oh, how's it handling?
It could bend a little more gently.
Don't get all critical. Thing cost me a fortune.
I could use one more day to practice. Okay.
Inserting the clip applier.
Why don't you try torquing it a little
To get a different angle?
There you go.
Okay. There it is.
Perfect.
Okay.
Got it. That's the last clip.
Oh, my god! Ladies and gentlemen, we're done here.
Nice work. Beautiful. Oh, my god. You did it.
Amazing.
Hang on. Look at the clock.
And that's, uh, seven, six...
Five, four...
Three, two, one.
Happy new year!
Happy new year.
I'm just gonna take a listen.
It looks like we're hitting the final wave.
I need to talk to you.
Yeah, well, i'm headed to the-- What is wrong with you?
You. Me?
Yeah, you. You come over here...
Why did you tell me this now? Why do you even care?
You didn't say a thing--All those times, all those years--
So why now? I don't know.
You don't know?
I don't know. I don't know. What does it matter to you?
You never felt the same way for-- Of course i did!
Of course i did. I had all those feelings
For you, teddy, for years,
But you never gave me anything.
You were engaged.
You never gave--For years... you were engaged. You were engaged, you idiot!
You never gave me one damn hint! You idiot.
I have loved you forever.
I have loved you when i was coupled up.
I have loved you when i was single.
I have loved you every second of every day.
Teddy...
I love you. I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with cristina.
You paged me?
Uh, i just confirmed, uh, brain death
On an 18-Year-Old female
Involved in a head-On m.V.C. Earlier this evening.
She's a match for kelsey. So i called n.O.S.,
And they gave me the go-Ahead for a directed donation.
Now dr. Bailey will do the organ recovery,
And i set up o.R. Two for kelsey.
That is why new year's eve is my favorite holiday. Stop it.
This is not a celebration. Come here.
No.
No, no, no, not my baby.
Please not my daughter. Oh, my... i can't...
This is not a celebration.
No, no, no, you can't...
Oh, no.
Your kidney's have stabilized,
And your vitals are stable, and...
Everything looks great.
Feel.
Awesome, huh?
Um, i can only really feel your boob, so... hey!
You want to feel? Uh, no. But i will listen.
Oh, my god. What are you doing? Oh, my god. What are you doing?
I know it's only been a couple of months.
And four dates. It's technically been four dates.
You amaze me... every day.
And we went through a war together.
We went through this together, and we came out the other side.
And i think...
If we can get through this, we can get through anything.
So marry me. Please.
Yes.
Of course.
I'm...
Insensitive sometimes.
But i'm not oblivious.
And i don't want you to, uh, to be with me
Because you feel like you owe me something because...
I mean, you two went through war to--
I with you.
I'm with you because i want to be.
I'm with you because i love you.
Are you sure?
Every day, we get to give the gift of life.
It cane painful, it can be terrifying...
But in the end, it's worth it...
Every time.
We all have the opportunity to give.
Maybe the gifts are not as dramatic
As what happens in the operating room.
Uh... so how was new year's eve at tucker's?
Oh, it was fine.
I kissed my grandson at midnight east coast time,
And i tucked him into bed.
Okay. Uh, so you're headed home today?
Mom's picking you up at the airport?
Yeah.
I, uh...
Tucked you in every night of your childhood.
Dad... i tucked you in and i kissed you goodnight
And i checked under the bed for bad guys.
And you went and grew up and got yourself a divorce...
And didn't bother to tell me.
I-I didn't know how to... explain.
I didn't want to disappoint you.
I-I didn't want to be judged.
I'm your father.
Can you imagine if little tuck grew up and got a divorce
And didn't tell you?
Then i'm sorry, dad.
I'm--I'm so sorry.
Maybe the gift is to try and make a simple apology.
I'm... never judging you.
I'm worrying about you.
Your mother and i worry about you.
That's all.
Little tuck,
He's a real spitfire, isn't he?
He is.
He sure is.
He doesn't seem too much worse for wear.
Maybe it's to understand another person's point of view.
Hi. I'm sorry that i paged you.
He's pretty public here,
And i know what that could do, you know, to his career.
I-I didn't know what else to do.
Maybe it's to hold a secret for a friend.
The joy, supposedly, is in the giving.
Meredith.
Happy new year.
She is my star pupil, joe.
My little star.
And i'm so proud of her.
I am svery proud.
She will be a brilliant surgeon...
Brilliant...
Just like her mother.
So when the joy is gone...
Get dr. Grey a drink, joe. Tequila.
When the giving starts to feel more like a burden...
That's when you stop.
And, um... i will-- I'll have another club soda.
But if you're like most people i know...
And it's on me--On me.
You give till it hurts...
And then you give some more.